Saturday night. Home.
Writing again.
Life changes when your older. My life is a little quieter than it used to be now and I'm not quiet sure how to deal with all this fully at the moment. I miss the constant distraction. The constant friends. The nights out. A Saturday night home isn't as rare anymore. Or usually I'm working. Or at home in the suburbs.
Last night I caught up with a few old friends from the Termi Days. The Railway Club Hotel followed by the National. Tram home by 11pm to be fresh for work at the MCG this morning. Hospitality is my trade. Yet I always yearn for something more/something different/ something stable. Searching still... For something that makes me proudly say, This is what I do!
Looking back on old blog entries and on this day 10 days ago I was in my final days of London town. Someday I'll be back. 35 now and cruising my way through this life. Still not sure of a direction or a path and trying to find my place in the world. A career path? A relationship? A home to call my own. That's always been the case for me though hasn't it? The Journey with no destination.
The ashes are on the TV at the moment. It's more of a back-round noise.
My music of choice lately.. The National, Yeah Yeah Yeah's... Muse and Big Day Out(Pearl Jam, Blur, Arcade Fire) tickets currently in my pocket. Bruce Springsteen back in March easily holds the best gig of recent years.
Saturday, August 03, 2013
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Begin...
2011?
Every New Years we all reflect on the year that was and then use it to search to for new beginnings. A chance to start again? But can the start of one year automatically enable the change that so many of us need...?
My feelings looking back over the past year are definately more negative than positive. A state of mind I really wish I didn't hold. I'm not going to lie, It hasn't been the best of years for me. Now before I continue do take note. This is in no means an attempt to wallow in my own self pity or seek peoples sympathies. There are always people far worse off than ourselves and it's how we roll with life that I guess helpd define where we are going. Some of you may be choose to read on with an open ear (or eye), others may wish to simply look away now and go about your day. This is more for me than it is for you anyway. Private thoughts on a public address system...
So... The year began in a good way. This time last year I was house sitting down the Port Melbourne, a place by the beach in the sun and getting ready for a new years eve with someone dear to me.. It was a great night and the promise of another year to come.
So what changed? In the coming month the sun dropped away and dissapeared and my world seemed to turn a little black. I lost my job and was faced with the prospect of now finally having to sort my shit out and work out what I wanted to do. Most of all how was I going to do it? Now I realise that job wasn't for me and I needed to move on. I wasn't really progressing there and a next step essential..
Then at exactly the same time I lost the one I love. A relationship ended. And I was hurt.
This factor right at the beginning of year really contributed to defining the rest.
How do i suddenly put the last 1- 2 years behind me and move forward?
So what did I do..I simply sunk back into the routine of what was easy.
Pulling in more bar work where I could find it. Afterall I had rent to pay and time to fill.
I so wanted to find a full time grown up job that could put me in the driving seat for a better future... But a cloud of hurt, confusion and indecision surrounded me so I just went with the flow.
Then I decided to travel...
I hadn't had a holiday for quite some time and this was the perfect opportunity. To run away and just enjoy the moment. To explore and live in the day to day freedom that travel offers.
So off to the USA i went and well it was my one saving grace this year.
7 weeks where the fog was lifted and I rediscovered myself. Even if only for a short part of the year. Travelling by myself was a big thing, I must admit I would have maybe preferred some other company but it's still easy to be on your own in another lan and actualyl maybe the best way.
I Started in LA and ventured all through California, camping and hostels. Las Vegasm San Fran etc
Over to Chicago and down though the heartland to the deep south of Memphis and New Orleans and then up to New York where I met up with mum and Dad for a family holiday on the east coast..
New York, New York. How I love you so... The highlight of my year...
I met some great people over thereand had some amazing times. It was definately good for the soul...
I came back at the end of September, all refreshed and in a better state of mind, it was time to begin again.
I went back and did some bar work, tried some temping/part time work and ended up at places such as Myer and Superpartners and the MCG. All of which I enjoyed. It gave me that little bit of release and normality, if only for a short bursts. Still I found myself with alot of spare time with not much to do. Not to mention a financial headache of trying to pay my way through life. It's fair to say my life has gotten alot quiter this year, not having the constant social distraction I once had. Spending more nights and days at home. And I hadn't gotten over the events of the start of year. I hadn't gotten over her and was still spending many a thought trying to work out why or what if. Trying to come to terms with losing someone that I still cared for...
This year has been one hell of a ride. I've had low points that have affected my state of mind and train of thought.
But I as i said before there are always people worse off and maybe the grass isn't always greener ya know? I've also had some pretty awesome experiences that I'll hold on to as the year changes date.
So long 2011, you've been one hell of a challenge and one heck of a learning curve. I hope I've come out a better person...
Every New Years we all reflect on the year that was and then use it to search to for new beginnings. A chance to start again? But can the start of one year automatically enable the change that so many of us need...?
My feelings looking back over the past year are definately more negative than positive. A state of mind I really wish I didn't hold. I'm not going to lie, It hasn't been the best of years for me. Now before I continue do take note. This is in no means an attempt to wallow in my own self pity or seek peoples sympathies. There are always people far worse off than ourselves and it's how we roll with life that I guess helpd define where we are going. Some of you may be choose to read on with an open ear (or eye), others may wish to simply look away now and go about your day. This is more for me than it is for you anyway. Private thoughts on a public address system...
So... The year began in a good way. This time last year I was house sitting down the Port Melbourne, a place by the beach in the sun and getting ready for a new years eve with someone dear to me.. It was a great night and the promise of another year to come.
So what changed? In the coming month the sun dropped away and dissapeared and my world seemed to turn a little black. I lost my job and was faced with the prospect of now finally having to sort my shit out and work out what I wanted to do. Most of all how was I going to do it? Now I realise that job wasn't for me and I needed to move on. I wasn't really progressing there and a next step essential..
Then at exactly the same time I lost the one I love. A relationship ended. And I was hurt.
This factor right at the beginning of year really contributed to defining the rest.
How do i suddenly put the last 1- 2 years behind me and move forward?
So what did I do..I simply sunk back into the routine of what was easy.
Pulling in more bar work where I could find it. Afterall I had rent to pay and time to fill.
I so wanted to find a full time grown up job that could put me in the driving seat for a better future... But a cloud of hurt, confusion and indecision surrounded me so I just went with the flow.
Then I decided to travel...
I hadn't had a holiday for quite some time and this was the perfect opportunity. To run away and just enjoy the moment. To explore and live in the day to day freedom that travel offers.
So off to the USA i went and well it was my one saving grace this year.
7 weeks where the fog was lifted and I rediscovered myself. Even if only for a short part of the year. Travelling by myself was a big thing, I must admit I would have maybe preferred some other company but it's still easy to be on your own in another lan and actualyl maybe the best way.
I Started in LA and ventured all through California, camping and hostels. Las Vegasm San Fran etc
Over to Chicago and down though the heartland to the deep south of Memphis and New Orleans and then up to New York where I met up with mum and Dad for a family holiday on the east coast..
New York, New York. How I love you so... The highlight of my year...
I met some great people over thereand had some amazing times. It was definately good for the soul...
I came back at the end of September, all refreshed and in a better state of mind, it was time to begin again.
I went back and did some bar work, tried some temping/part time work and ended up at places such as Myer and Superpartners and the MCG. All of which I enjoyed. It gave me that little bit of release and normality, if only for a short bursts. Still I found myself with alot of spare time with not much to do. Not to mention a financial headache of trying to pay my way through life. It's fair to say my life has gotten alot quiter this year, not having the constant social distraction I once had. Spending more nights and days at home. And I hadn't gotten over the events of the start of year. I hadn't gotten over her and was still spending many a thought trying to work out why or what if. Trying to come to terms with losing someone that I still cared for...
This year has been one hell of a ride. I've had low points that have affected my state of mind and train of thought.
But I as i said before there are always people worse off and maybe the grass isn't always greener ya know? I've also had some pretty awesome experiences that I'll hold on to as the year changes date.
So long 2011, you've been one hell of a challenge and one heck of a learning curve. I hope I've come out a better person...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
New Orleans
Winding up my 12 day Contiki tour in New Orleans..
Travelling through the countries heartland has definetaly been a highlight, seeing city's that probably most tourists don't get to... Chicago, St Lous, Loisville, Nashville, Memphis etc... I chose this tour as a fan of music, and i haven't been dissapointed in the least. The quality of live music in the bars is amazing. Blues, Country, Jazz.. There's a true heart and soul within the people of this part of the world and music is their voice. A voice that is spoken so well.
Diving into American culture has really been better than i thought. I think the US has always had a slightly negative attitiude as a place to travel but I could not recomment it more.
A Ball game in Chicago, An insight into the last moments of Martin Luther King, The home of the King, Bad Coffee, Budweiser Beer, the land of excessively large servings of junkfood, the joys of deep south cooking, music that draws you in and takes you to a better place.
I believe in the promised land......
As with most travel groups there is always a contrast in dynamic and personality and this is what also makes these tours so good I think. The people you meet on the journey... Some you get along with better than others... 26 or so people on our bus.. Overall i've had a fantastic time. Perhaps I've struggled with the late night a little more so this time around, but thats getting old!
Tonight we hit some jazz bars on Frenchman Street then tommorrow it's time for New York!
Winding up my 12 day Contiki tour in New Orleans..
Travelling through the countries heartland has definetaly been a highlight, seeing city's that probably most tourists don't get to... Chicago, St Lous, Loisville, Nashville, Memphis etc... I chose this tour as a fan of music, and i haven't been dissapointed in the least. The quality of live music in the bars is amazing. Blues, Country, Jazz.. There's a true heart and soul within the people of this part of the world and music is their voice. A voice that is spoken so well.
Diving into American culture has really been better than i thought. I think the US has always had a slightly negative attitiude as a place to travel but I could not recomment it more.
A Ball game in Chicago, An insight into the last moments of Martin Luther King, The home of the King, Bad Coffee, Budweiser Beer, the land of excessively large servings of junkfood, the joys of deep south cooking, music that draws you in and takes you to a better place.
I believe in the promised land......
As with most travel groups there is always a contrast in dynamic and personality and this is what also makes these tours so good I think. The people you meet on the journey... Some you get along with better than others... 26 or so people on our bus.. Overall i've had a fantastic time. Perhaps I've struggled with the late night a little more so this time around, but thats getting old!
Tonight we hit some jazz bars on Frenchman Street then tommorrow it's time for New York!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Finding time
I really thought I'd manage to find the time to write mire often but that's proving tough.
With a holiday like this comes the fact one must cram in as much ad possible as soon as possible.
I did the Hollywood LA thing then ventured on an intrepid tour up through California arizona and Nevada. It was great but felt a bit rushed. Vegas was awesome
But wasn't what the hype suggests because of a group that really dud their own thing and I felt I was left to wonder the strip at night on my own... Still I saw some amazing things.,
Now my heart is in San Francisco and the last two days have been spent without a breath of relaxation trying to see as much as possible. Truly an amazing town!
Tomorrow Alcatraz and clam chowder.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
With a holiday like this comes the fact one must cram in as much ad possible as soon as possible.
I did the Hollywood LA thing then ventured on an intrepid tour up through California arizona and Nevada. It was great but felt a bit rushed. Vegas was awesome
But wasn't what the hype suggests because of a group that really dud their own thing and I felt I was left to wonder the strip at night on my own... Still I saw some amazing things.,
Now my heart is in San Francisco and the last two days have been spent without a breath of relaxation trying to see as much as possible. Truly an amazing town!
Tomorrow Alcatraz and clam chowder.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Post St,San Francisco,United States
Friday, August 05, 2011
Packed up my bags and moved to be error
After delaying my flight for 24 hours I am now here!! Hollywood is like surfers but magnified by ten with it's cheesy moviestar hype.. I love it!!!
Bus tour Today that highlighted lots of useless facts.. The bar river Phoenix owned, the hotel john belushi died in, where axl foley visited the be error hills police department...
I walked Hollywood boulevard and then went down rodeo drive!! Little sleep but feeling great...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Bus tour Today that highlighted lots of useless facts.. The bar river Phoenix owned, the hotel john belushi died in, where axl foley visited the be error hills police department...
I walked Hollywood boulevard and then went down rodeo drive!! Little sleep but feeling great...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Countdown USA
One more sleep then I'm leaving on a big jet plane!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Templestowe
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Trying to write again isn't easy when lately my creative juices have been blocked. I finished my course ( Cet IV in graphic design) just before Christmads and it went well. Having goals and direction again was reassuring and I think I applied myself to the best of my ability. But since then I'd hoped my motivation would would stay up. Instead it's been a somewhat weird comedown, going from every day filled up with things to do to now over summer awaking with no set routine or task. Pondering around the house with what to do next. Still a few nights at the Termi but it's not enough. Looking for more work again in either graphic design or just another hospo job to pay the bills has not been easy. Financially times are tough and i crave so much more out of my life. I do need change as I've been saying for a long time now. Im 30 and I've rarely in my life had to put myself out there, sell myself to the world to find my direction. And yes I find that hard. So we'll see. Something WILL come soon.
Despite monets of boredom I have been doing lots lately to. Having a couple of German backpackers stay with us last week enabled me to play host and see Melbourne in a different light. Going to Museums, parks wherever. Days down the beach swimming. Taking photographs with my SLR. I know that im my happiness when things seem the simpliest. No excess baggage, pressure or restrictions..
Recently I found out one of my oldest and dearest mates is very sick. I found this out one afternoon via facebook. Reading messages and hearng the news via this meduim was very surreal and strange. Not that I'm complaining about it, I guess thats the way the world is these days. I havent talked to Hamo since but rather opted speaking to his mates and sending him a text message. All my issues really are petty and insignificant and I wish I could do more to help but my thoughts are always there. Get welll soon mate!
Despite monets of boredom I have been doing lots lately to. Having a couple of German backpackers stay with us last week enabled me to play host and see Melbourne in a different light. Going to Museums, parks wherever. Days down the beach swimming. Taking photographs with my SLR. I know that im my happiness when things seem the simpliest. No excess baggage, pressure or restrictions..
Recently I found out one of my oldest and dearest mates is very sick. I found this out one afternoon via facebook. Reading messages and hearng the news via this meduim was very surreal and strange. Not that I'm complaining about it, I guess thats the way the world is these days. I havent talked to Hamo since but rather opted speaking to his mates and sending him a text message. All my issues really are petty and insignificant and I wish I could do more to help but my thoughts are always there. Get welll soon mate!
Monday, August 06, 2007
Ah another weekend over..For me though every day seems to just gel into one, the side effect of hospitality.....
I drunk to much friday night and really the whole night seems like a blur. Like a dream in which i wasn’t in control.. I just went with the flow…I hate those night, well ok i love to go out and have fun like most people, but when it gets to a point where my world spins and the next day im left with nothing but a headache and a blurred picture of a scotch induced reality.. It makes me question why i do shit sometimes.. Still it was fun…
I slept all day Saturday only to get up for work ... Finished at 4.45 am totally mentally and phyisically fucked so of course i slept most of today before working again.. Oh went to JB with sticks and cully for a while…
Sundays are a strange day.... The clientel at work even stranger. Fucked up describes some of.... Crazy girl who wouldnt shut up, had bad breath and rambled about past relationships.. Then there was happy/angry man who just wanted to talk everyones ear off about useless BS.. A few girls at the bar seemed more than happy to give him the time of day.. Only after others simply walked away. An actor type guy got involved in the conversation ... Come closing time the air was getting tense and i was glad to get rid of this guy… Would have kicked him out sooner but the other customers at the bar didnt seemed to stressed about having him there, rather getting off on his antics…Closed up on my own and went to the GB for a few well needed wind down ales…Jimmy was there and we spent our time doing puzzles and problem solving things… That place is my sanity some times.....
Oh and people need to get more spacial awareness. Last night trying to get around people with a bazillion glasses stacked up in my hands or whatever was a challenge.. Its funny how people just wont/dont respnd to excuse me several times when your obviously needing to get through.... Sorry… im whining!
I bought this cd on friday after a random trip to chadstone shopping centre. Haven’t been that way in years. “Make some noise: Save Dufor” is a 2 cd collection of different artists all covering John Lennon songs in aid of Amnesty International and the inhumane treatment of those in Dufor. Anyway, although all cover versions, I love hearing fresh music and in this case others perceptions of songs i already love. This album has been a wonderful thing over the past few days. Definately recommend it…
Im wide awake and in the mood for some braindead comedy.. The Threeeee Amigos!!!
I drunk to much friday night and really the whole night seems like a blur. Like a dream in which i wasn’t in control.. I just went with the flow…I hate those night, well ok i love to go out and have fun like most people, but when it gets to a point where my world spins and the next day im left with nothing but a headache and a blurred picture of a scotch induced reality.. It makes me question why i do shit sometimes.. Still it was fun…
I slept all day Saturday only to get up for work ... Finished at 4.45 am totally mentally and phyisically fucked so of course i slept most of today before working again.. Oh went to JB with sticks and cully for a while…
Sundays are a strange day.... The clientel at work even stranger. Fucked up describes some of.... Crazy girl who wouldnt shut up, had bad breath and rambled about past relationships.. Then there was happy/angry man who just wanted to talk everyones ear off about useless BS.. A few girls at the bar seemed more than happy to give him the time of day.. Only after others simply walked away. An actor type guy got involved in the conversation ... Come closing time the air was getting tense and i was glad to get rid of this guy… Would have kicked him out sooner but the other customers at the bar didnt seemed to stressed about having him there, rather getting off on his antics…Closed up on my own and went to the GB for a few well needed wind down ales…Jimmy was there and we spent our time doing puzzles and problem solving things… That place is my sanity some times.....
Oh and people need to get more spacial awareness. Last night trying to get around people with a bazillion glasses stacked up in my hands or whatever was a challenge.. Its funny how people just wont/dont respnd to excuse me several times when your obviously needing to get through.... Sorry… im whining!
I bought this cd on friday after a random trip to chadstone shopping centre. Haven’t been that way in years. “Make some noise: Save Dufor” is a 2 cd collection of different artists all covering John Lennon songs in aid of Amnesty International and the inhumane treatment of those in Dufor. Anyway, although all cover versions, I love hearing fresh music and in this case others perceptions of songs i already love. This album has been a wonderful thing over the past few days. Definately recommend it…
Im wide awake and in the mood for some braindead comedy.. The Threeeee Amigos!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
4am!!!!
I worked tonight. Bingo hasn't been as busy lately and now we have to stay open to till at least 1am, preferably 2. Depending on the people there... Closed at 1.30, all staff thre at this stage anyway. Tobes and Jason cleaned the beerlines tonight so it was an excuse for em all to pour through the wastage and get on it. I stayed for about 10 minutes afterwards and came home....
I just read through an old diary of mine, from late 2001. When i was in London town. Things were recalled i hadn't thought about and or forgotton. Was that possibly the best time of my life? The people, the places. The Beauty. Yet as i read through it all the good times, there were still elements of uncertaintity that is evident in the writing. I guess that comes with any big journey.
The new Crowded House single 'Don't Stop Now' has just made it's subtle way into the world. I've been anticipating this. In true Crowded house style, it grabs you in an optimistic and content way. It's an easy listen. I've listened to it a few times for it to sink in. Late at night when the silence ensures the music gets into your head...
I worked tonight. Bingo hasn't been as busy lately and now we have to stay open to till at least 1am, preferably 2. Depending on the people there... Closed at 1.30, all staff thre at this stage anyway. Tobes and Jason cleaned the beerlines tonight so it was an excuse for em all to pour through the wastage and get on it. I stayed for about 10 minutes afterwards and came home....
I just read through an old diary of mine, from late 2001. When i was in London town. Things were recalled i hadn't thought about and or forgotton. Was that possibly the best time of my life? The people, the places. The Beauty. Yet as i read through it all the good times, there were still elements of uncertaintity that is evident in the writing. I guess that comes with any big journey.
The new Crowded House single 'Don't Stop Now' has just made it's subtle way into the world. I've been anticipating this. In true Crowded house style, it grabs you in an optimistic and content way. It's an easy listen. I've listened to it a few times for it to sink in. Late at night when the silence ensures the music gets into your head...
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tonight i decide to write. I'll just start typing and see whatever comes out...
Maybe it's cause i'm coming down with a cold and have needed a few nights in to relax. I find time to write....
So today... Today was i guess a day like any other.
I awoke around 10am after a fairly early night, early being around midnight for me...
After fucking around on my computer with emails, news etc (todays top story was 30 or so people shot in an American college). I don't know these people, ive never even been to the university yet still i felt ill from the news. I dunno.....
So anyway yeah went a did an afternoons work for the folks today. A break from the nights of the pub. Home around 6ish, went to the supermarket and stocked up with things for dinner, my original idea was just the basics for some pasta but i find the supermarket somewhat theraputic and i get carried away so naturally i ended up buying other stuff as well...
Cooked dinner, ate dinner, which was pretty darn good.
... then watched the film Únited 93.
I still remember that day so clearly, as im sure does everyone.....
Now....Now i write, i comtemplate and i guess i'll sleep for tomorrow....
Tobes just called. I did have an option of going out earlier and can still go out now if i so desire. But seriously... Fuck that.. I need to be normal for a while....
Oh, i came across some old cd's containing old music, computer files etc...
Made me realise.. I need to reclaim my direction in life again.. What makes me passionate?
What do i do to drive me fwd...
Serving beer sure isn't it!!!
Maybe it's cause i'm coming down with a cold and have needed a few nights in to relax. I find time to write....
So today... Today was i guess a day like any other.
I awoke around 10am after a fairly early night, early being around midnight for me...
After fucking around on my computer with emails, news etc (todays top story was 30 or so people shot in an American college). I don't know these people, ive never even been to the university yet still i felt ill from the news. I dunno.....
So anyway yeah went a did an afternoons work for the folks today. A break from the nights of the pub. Home around 6ish, went to the supermarket and stocked up with things for dinner, my original idea was just the basics for some pasta but i find the supermarket somewhat theraputic and i get carried away so naturally i ended up buying other stuff as well...
Cooked dinner, ate dinner, which was pretty darn good.
... then watched the film Únited 93.
I still remember that day so clearly, as im sure does everyone.....
Now....Now i write, i comtemplate and i guess i'll sleep for tomorrow....
Tobes just called. I did have an option of going out earlier and can still go out now if i so desire. But seriously... Fuck that.. I need to be normal for a while....
Oh, i came across some old cd's containing old music, computer files etc...
Made me realise.. I need to reclaim my direction in life again.. What makes me passionate?
What do i do to drive me fwd...
Serving beer sure isn't it!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)